Aiken for home.

Last week, when we linked you to photos of Clay Aiken's house long before actual journalists got hold of the link (and caused it to be made inactive—boy are the Upper Peninsula Claymates pissed), you may have been struck by the house's rich-yet-classless southern lady decor. We certainly were. Well, today Aiken said the reason why he's selling the house is so he can have a home base in Raleigh, North Carolina. Fear not, though, friends. According to the article...

Aiken's mother, Faye Parker, decorated his California home with North Carolina furniture. The work won't go to waste despite the move, he said. "All the stuff, curtains, fabrics and whatever else is coming, too," Aiken said.

All right. Clay, how 'bout you buy Faye her own house to decorate, and you use your 90 bazillion dollars to hire an interior designer. We promise you that whatever he or she comes up with will be far less gay than what mom has picked out for you. And that's really what you want, right? Even though you are moving back to North Carolina, it's time to cut the cord, Clay. Cut the cord. It's a huge yet necessary step in your quest to remain closeted.