So, we could have given you the bits about Gwyneth Paltrow telling Brad Pitt to keep his private life private or Chelsea Clinton being single again. But we went with the hard-hitting news. You may be able to plan for a hurricane, but you can't avoid it. Unless you live in most of the United States. Tomorrow, we promise to get back to the crap that doesn't matter, the crap that usually involves only dignity dying, or, in the case of rap mogul® Suge Knight, a leg. Or not. We don't know. We don't even know what intern Caramella is making us for dinner. We hope it's something spicy. But not gumbo. That would just be disrespectful.