iNot gay.

Please note this article is only important because, while going to great lengths to explain how Madonna will promote her new record, I'm Old and Dancing, it also lets us know that Apple (as in the computer company, not Fiona or the Paltrow baby) was not interested in giving Madonna her own signature iPod, which we find far more intriguing. The NB actually got in touch with Steve Jobs himself and asked why he felt Madonna did not deserve her own signature iPod, to which he responded, "The iPod gets tired and breaks almost immediately after it's taken out of the box—it took Madonna years to acheive that. Logistically it just wasn't a good match." Jobs did thank us for getting in touch with him by giving us a 5% discount on our next Apple purchase of over $5,000 or more.