Bloombergsday.

Congratulations, Mayor Bloomberg, you won by an historic margin yesterday! We're quite happy about that because last night we were at a bar with some friends who smoke. Because you made it illegal to smoke inside bars, we situated ourselves on the patio, which was fine because it was a beautiful night. Well, the lighting outside was so perfect that we were carded! Yes, carded! Mayor Bloomberg, we've never felt so alive! Kudos to you and your successful $325 gazillion campaign—we can't wait to see how you're going to continue to make us look—and feel—20 again. Again? Did we say again?