2.03.2006

The 25 most beautiful dead ladies.




1. The Virgin Mary
?B.C.–?A.D.
What can you say about the mother of God? Apparently, she was tough to beat at Mah Jongg and told incredibly bawdy jokes.


2. Audrey Hepburn
We challenge any person of any gender to watch any Audrey flick and not be fully charmed, even without the WB's magic potion. To top it off, she had a beautiful dog named Mr. Famous.


3. Helen of Troy
?B.C.–?B.C.
So what if our number three babe probably wasn’t real? Her face launched a thousand ships! You can’t even drive a boat.


4. Marilyn Monroe
1926–1962
That unstoppable mix of carnal sexuality and childlike innocence threw Marilyn into the spotlight as the biggest sex symbol of the century. If only we could look so hot when we stand over subway gratings.


5. Jackie O.
1929–1994
How could we resist picking the lovely lady dubbed "Debutante of the Year" in 1948? In addition to mothering John John and Caroline she also gave birth to several members of our staff in the mid 1970s. She gave us up for adoption because she didn't think we were quite classy enough.


6. JonBenet Ramsey
1990–1996
JonBenet was from this world untimely ripp'd at the tender age of six. We will always remember her stunning beauty, forever burned into our memories with those golden locks and that pink cowboy hat. RIP, littlest beauty queen.


7. Lady Godiva
1040?–1080?
Lady Godiva rode naked on a horse to obtain a reduction in the excessive taxes levied by her husband on the people of Coventry. Blah blah blah. This babe’s the world’s most notable exhibitionist, and for that alone she’s the tops!


8. Princess Diana
1961–1997
It says a lot about Di's impact on the world that even though we were drunk in a bar when we found out about the death of the English Rose, we all wept openly. Actually, maybe it says more about the impact of Bacardi.


9. Grace Kelly
1929–1982
Amazing Grace. Gliding across the ballroom in her To Catch a Thief diamonds or playing craps with her husband Prince Ranier III in Monaco, Princess Grace did nothing less than personify her name.


10. Nefertiti
1971–1995
This long-necked Egyptian queen didn't take any crap. It seems that she coined the term "Why you all in my grill?" Surely this bit of trivia suprises you as much as it did us.


11. Selena
1971–1995
If there's one thing we learned by the untimely death of this Latin pop sensation (oh, but how to pick only one?), it's never to make a lunatic fan your manager.


12. Edie Sedgwick
1943–1971
Her anorexic, drugged-out glamour preceded the likes of Kate Moss or Courteney Cox-Arquette. She will ever remain immortalized in those stupid Andy Warhol films (which probably also featured an Arquette or two).


13. Gilda Radner
1946–1989
Truly beautiful inside and out. You've got to hand it to someone who can remain cute even as Lisa Loopner and Roseanne Roseannadanna, not to mention her tireless crusade against breast cancer. Godspeed, little monkey.


14. Ingrid Bergman
1915–1982
Our most stunning blacklisted babe, Ingrid turned heads right up to her death... and left us lookin' at her kid, the lovely living Isabella Rossellini.


15. Dorothy Dandridge
1922–1965
The first black woman to be nominated for an Academy Award for Best Actress had skin described as "café au lait." She once said if she were white, she could have captured the world. Well, Dot, your mocha magnificence has captured ours.


16. Lucille Ball
1911–1989
Unquestionably the world's favorite comedienne, Lucille Ball will forever be remembered as spunky redhead eye candy, whether she was setting her nose on fire or just sitting with little Ricky in one of those great '40s dresses.


17. Lizzie Borden
1860–1927
We axed 100 people to maim for us a drop-dead beauty with killer looks. Ms. Borden hacked the competition to pieces.


18. Pocahontas
1595?–1617
This sassy daughter of Powhatan didn’t win over John Smith with her cunning intellect or winning personality—she couldn’t even speak English! Surely it was those dark features and raven hair that painted Mr. Smith’s colors of the wind.


19. Mama Cass
1941–1974
"Mama" Cass Elliott was a larger-than-life beauty whose singing can always make you snap your fingers, smile vacuously and remember just how special you really are. Sweet Mama Cass. Rumor has it that she died while eating a sandwich but only her coroner knows for sure.


20. Flipper (née Bebe)
1956–1997
OK, OK—so she's not technically a person. But come on. Who can resist the tantalizing curves? The smooth skin? The sassy moves and irresistible giggle? This Bebe's a real lifesaver.


21. Joan of Arc
1412–1431
Oh, noble lady of yore, how valiantly you led the French against the English in the 15th century. We beseecheth of you gentle lady, why do you cross-dress? Is it for Satan?


22. Karen Carpenter
1950–1983
It seems that rainy days, Mondays and every other day of the week got this songbird down. With a steady diet of water, laxatives and her index finger, Karen was truly the superstar all modern day waifs aspire to become.


23. Sappho
613 B.C.–570 B.C.
This lovely creature was the first lady of Lesbos, an island that served as a virtual cultural center for poetry, music and, of course, hot lezzie sex.


24. Eva Peron
1919–1952
Don’t cry for me, Argentina? More like, don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. This South American first lady is numero uno in our books. You must love her!


25. Audra Lindley
1918–1997
Oh, Mrs. Roper! This is one of the only women who could wear a caftan and not look like a plant hanger. Wise and sassy, Audra enveloped '70s style.

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